I Am Not in a Cult Say It Again
- A adult female named Fleur Brownish shares what it was like to abound up as a office of the Worldwide Church building of God, a cult-like religious organization.
- The church building projected many catastrophic events which kept church members focused and contributing – emotionally and financially.
- The church was funded by taking 30% of its member'southward gross income and its leader, Herbert W. Armstrong, a self-titled 'Terminal Apostle' of Jesus Christ, lived a luxurious life in Hollywood.
- The adult female said everyone was forced to be incredibly nice yet birthdays, makeup, and toys were banned.
- Brown believes that past the time people figure out they've actually been brought into a cult, their whole life is already committed to serving the cult community.
When my Mum lost her Dad in her early on twenties, she was looking for answers and a soft identify to land. A confusing time to be human, the 1970s was the era of the Vietnam War, equal rights and the disruption of all kinds of traditional values.
She constitute sanctuary in theWorldwide Church of God, an American fundamentalist faith that offered concrete answers for seekers; a road-map for the significant of life, infused with a little cocky-help theory and some healthy eating tips.
Aside from a conservative dress code and a ban on makeup, the church was full of adequately normal looking people. In that location were millions of followers at its peak — families big and small, rich and poor joined from almost every state in the world.
Every cult has its currency – ours was fearfulness.
The outset ten years of my life were dominated by apocalyptic biblical predictions. These projected catastrophic events kept church building members focused and contributing – emotionally and financially.
Asa child, I believed I would never have time to finish loftier school, marry or have children of my own. We were e'er only a twelvemonth or two away from global famine, pestilence and Globe War III — at which fourth dimension we "the special ones", would be whisked away to a "place of safety" in the Eye East for three and a half years before the return of Jesus Christ.
We were taught that after most of the globe had been slaughtered, a great resurrection would take identify — the expressionless would rising, including humans from ages past. The faithful members of our special religion would be rewarded with leadership positions. Those resurrected mortals that agreed to teachings would exist granted eternal life, the others would exist thrown into a lake of burn down.
Non exactly a chilled out perspective to grow up with. Even then, my main business as a kid was whether or not I would withal exist able to plug in a curling iron into a mud wall in our center eastern hideout.
This god nosotros were so invested in seemed like an off-centre, unkind sort of grapheme with a bleak outlook on life.
My own flawed human being center seemed gentler than this god nosotros prayed to — a rebel thought I didn't permit myself to nurture in case information technology attracted worldly penalisation. In reality, my view of 'god' was shaped in the image of our narcissistic cult leader.
Cashing in on the human need for faith
The Worldwide Church of God was created pastHerbert Armstrong, anadvertisingman who lost his task in the Dandy Depression and turned his promotional talents towards religion. A few decades on, he was leading a successful multinational religious corporation worth many billions of dollars in today'south value. Not a bad turnaround for a broke copywriter from Oregon.
Funded by a xxx% tithe on the gross incomes of its members, this self-titled 'Last Apostle' of Jesus Christ lived the life of a celebrity on palatial grounds in the foothills of Hollywood. It was part religion /mostly business. A religious media mogul, he ran an international radio, Television receiver andpublishingconcern and 3 universities and circled the globe in his private jet discussing world peace with presidents and prime ministers.
Both Armstrong and his fifty-fifty more off-center cult leading contemporary Elron Hubbard (the Church of Scientology) had the gift of imagination on their side — Hubbard a science fiction author, Armstrong an ad writer. Their words and worlds were compelling and persuasive plenty to entice millions to give over a huge pct of their income to the church coffers.
Armstrong led the life of a celebrity, whilst his followers struggled to survive.
This was prophecy pre-Google, and, given few alternatives to focus on, my kittenish mind reluctantly accepted this surroundings every bit reality.
Like nigh cults, in that location was an agnostic layer to the sharing of "truth." Our church masters cautioned us confronting sharing church secrets with school friends, neighbors or other outsiders — they were privileged truths to exist revealed when they decided someone had been properly 'converted.' Every bit a consequence, I kept my mouth airtight at school and the church theories were rarely challenged. Later, I was often labeled mysterious and secretive. Information technology took me years to realize this was non an intrinsic part of my nature, but something I had adult in an try to not describe attention to myself.
Niceness is next to godliness
Another feature of cult life is the absenteeism of authentic self expression. Cults have a powerful unifying mono 'cult-ure.' In ours, everyone was magnetically prissy.
"Everyone is so …(can't quite put my finger on it … ah there it is) … and so nice!" was the comment I frequently heard growing upward from neighbors, school friends partners — anyone who had a brush with someone from our Church group. It felt like heaven on earth for new recruits; who were often dilapidated and bruised by life'due south tribulations.
The indoctrination procedure was the best part of beingness in the group. New people were invited to dinner, quizzed intensely about their past, offered dwelling house cooked meals and support effectually the domicile, had their trip the light fantastic toe carte du jour filled with happy social events. Love bombed.
Niceness let the barriers down. It also stopped the appropriate boundaries from being in place whenever members felt uncomfortable. But that seemed a small price to pay to fit in. In a canis familiaris-swallow-dog world, who doesn't desire to exist office of an intoxicatingly nice community — even, any community?
That community feeling was the matter I missed acutely when I left … and studies show this is a big reason many people exit one cult to bring together some other. Sometimes the 'cult' is a corporation with a similar restrictive culture.
This niceness nirvana cannot be comfortably sustained. There was a 'Stepford' feeling to our community — and our emotional kaleidoscope had a limited spectrum. Some feelings were more spiritual than others – self-reflection, sadness and feet were encouraged and rewarded with praise – anger, joy and celebration were considered self-indulgent, less spiritual, Ungodly. Birthday celebrations were an instance – the top of cocky focus – and were banned, along with the 'pagan' celebrations of Christmas and Easter. That acquired me no end of embarrassment at school and kept me away from forging deep connections with my nonchurch peers.
Tragedy was considered purifying for the soul, suffering was a prerequisite to spiritual growth. As a consequence, people attracted it. Wallowed in it.
Cults rarely withstand the second generation
Cult life didn't arrange me. Equally a child, I longed to stand up in the middle of the two hour Sat sermons, where toys and talking were banned, and scream out the words "stop!" at the top of my lungs.
Equally a teenager, my silent complaint was the sheer boredom of being around repetitive behavior. I had an intensely curious mind and dreamed of existence a journalist – a truth-seeking occupation the church could never accept tolerated. Journalists work on the Sabbath so information technology's not an option, I was told.
I wanted to date people exterior the group, everyone in the small customs felt like family unit to me. That was too forbidden – a rule I broke repeatedly, at keen risk. I remember having repeated nightmares about marrying my brother — a symbol of the lack of chemistry I felt towards those in my closeted church peer group.
I had another repetitive nightmare where I was stuck in a black and white maze that never led anywhere and I could never escape from. Looking back, it seems obvious that represented the emotional imprisonment of the group – where zip made much sense intuitively.
Similar most teenagers, I had a wild menstruum. But, in my earth, it was brusque-lived because the consequences were terrifying.
Despite my rebellious heart, I knew leaving would have an incommunicable price — it meant turning my back on family, childhood friends and my perception of any grade of security.
Instead of simply 'growing out of' my rebellious phase, I eventually put a lid on it completely and took myself off to religious higher to study Theology and try to tame my wild heart.
There are a number of factors that snap people out of cult listen control. And the not bad affair is, often once y'all observe a loose thread on the the jumper, the whole thing unravels.
Exiting the grouping
Books were my main connection to freedom if thought – I read at to the lowest degree three a week, often staying up until the small-scale hours to terminate them.
When I was 20, I pulled a book off the shelf of my favorite bookstore chosen Combatting Cult Heed Control.Such was my ain heed control at that time, it took all my courage to walk to the counter and pay for the book.
"Don't be stupid — you're not in a cult. Get the travel book instead" my conditioned self told my curious cocky.
I loitered by the shelf and flicked through the book with my heart thumping and so hard it was difficult to even read. I quickly found a page list the 12 traits you are likely to experience in a cult. That pulled me in. I started flicking through the list — expecting to be just enlightened, not cornered.
In that location were things such equally the group activity takes all of your time, leaving yous no free time for yourself. They actively discourage spending time with your family and quondam friends outside the cult.
I quickly paid for the book and stayed up until I finished it at 3 am. It was frightening, overwhelming just most of all intoxicating. I knew my life was virtually to change fundamentally. I was virtually to have "a life."
That's the thing about cults, they are life stealing.
The brainwashing was subtle, and the signs of dysfunction were more often than not beneath the surface. In that location were no sacrificial goats, wild sex activity romps or witches hats in the woods. We didn't clothing tie-dyed clothing, alive on a hippy commune or chant songs in the street. And that's the point actually. Some of the most insidious cults and cultures can appear normal from the outside.
If you lot're in a cult you're probably not reading this. But if you are concerned virtually someone who may be, I highly recommend reading Combatting Cult Listen Control.
Why practice 'normal' people join cults?
Few people consciously join a cult. Cults are beautifully packaged to wait similar something quite different from the outside. By the fourth dimension people figure out what they've really bought into, their whole life is committed to serving the cult community.
I never signed up to exist in a cult. My parents option, never mine, I was ii when I entered the group and 20 when I institute the courage to leave.
My Dad was a classic candidate. With two young children, he reluctantly followed my Mum in to keep the family unit together. Loyalty to the group was so extreme that "unconverted" partners and even children were oftentimes left behind. God (aka "The Church") came kickoff. Always.
My aunts and uncles voiced their concerns, but similar his own questions about the environment he had entered their voices were pushed downward deep beneath the surface — to permit emotional survival, to keep the family unit together.
If it offered emotional solace, condom and an inbuilt "supportive" customs for women, this group gave status, discipline, and predictability to men. "Proficient" behavior was rewarded with increased authority. This arrangement saw some of the nigh unlikely individuals climb to heights of leadership within the group. A yes mentality and thirst for power was a prerequisite to power. Those who question more, or are more focused on their own interests than those of the customs tended to remain in the eye layers of the organization never really receiving status.
A high achieving professional earlier he joined the grouping, my Dad didn't actually fit the mould. But all competing one-time habits are destined to be cleaved in the world of a cult and eventually his 'ego' was broken and he took his place amongst the rank and file.
He was far from alone. Before our church founder died, historic period 94, the membership of our global group reached dizzying heights. Information technology was a insurrection in persuasive advice. The Telly and radio shows were a bang-up funnel, in that location was no door knocking, recruitment was subtle and mostly peer to peer.
Fitting in was paramount. Our grouping was Judeo-Christian — pregnant they celebrated Erstwhile Testament (Jewish) festivals and holy days including a Sabbatum Sabbath. That Sabbath put an stop to many professional person ambitions and my Dad'southward 60 hour a week CEO role was quickly surrendered to a low-condition sales role.
Volunteer work was disquisitional to stay in favor with the group. He soon lost touch with friends and family. Those annoyingly skeptical brothers and sisters of his were squeezed out by all the replacement weekend activity."He lost his personality," my Dad's brothers and sisters told me years afterwards.
Cults encourage big life questions on the way in. In one case you lot're enrolled, they slam the door on questioning.
The burning life questions that led people into the church group, were actively discourage once yous were inside. Members were required to channel their reasoning and their curiosity towards a 'greater cause"' — a bigger purpose — "saving the world", and ourselves, from time to come spiritual destruction.
Years later, I realized how this childhood programming had both fuelled a sense of missionary zeal in me, however simultaneously cultivated a deep sense of pointlessness and futility.
Even after leaving, I discovered an unfortunate blind spot for arrogant, egomaniac, nonsense pedaling hypocrites. Paradoxically, trusting everyone else seemed impossible — non surprisingly I believed everyone had a manipulative calendar.
My get-go job after leaving the church had a cult-like quality — including a culture which pivoted around an obsessive, narcissistic dictatorial and delusional leader. It's taken me years to unravel the furnishings.
Even so I am strangely grateful for the feel — hither are a few reasons why.
What growing up in a cult taught me about existent life
My experience growing up in a cult left me sensitive to manipulation and a strong defender of basic man freedoms. In particular, I strongly support the right to freedom of identity — a correct beyond freedom of speech, which the earth is but at present coming to terms with.
Through this life lens, I spot cultish beliefs in many areas of everyday life — the corporate globe as a prime example. More recently, I run across it reflected within startup culture, where people are ofttimes enrolled in organizations that barely pay their way nether the hope of future opportunity which typically only arrives for the founders and early-stage investors.
These are some of the values I have learned to live past:
No rules or customs are sacred. Question everything. Don't obey the "should" — but subscribe to things that make sense and feel right.
Feel everything and don't let anyone tell you lot how to feel.
All feelings are equal – no feelings are 'superior' and all have value.
Everyone is intrinsically unique. You don't demand to testify that to anyone, to the lowest degree of all yourself.
Be wary of elitist groups – everyone is equal.
Don't check your identity at the door — anywhere — you have a right to express your unique self in any environment.
Birthdays are of import – sounds trivial, but this is one mean solar day a year when yous get to focus on the value of you and your life. Celebrate it.
Check whether y'all are intensely compelled to do things simply considering you are unconsciously repeating an unpleasant or unresolved childhood emotional feel
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Source: https://www.insider.com/i-grew-up-in-a-cult-and-i-can-tell-you-why-normal-people-join-them-2018-3
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